I suck.

I'm not sure I could be any more lame about posting on this thing...

But now its time to escape the prison and go home.

The Walk of Shame

You know how you have those moments where you ponder a relationship or see the person again and almost gag from the thought of it? And maybe you even thought at the time 'This will come back to haunt me' but then the haunting happens sooner than you think, and you just want to kick yourself? A relationship where even though you were once involved with that person (on some level) the thought of doing it again is revolting? You wonder how you could have been so foolish/delusional/desperate and you swear (foolishly) never to talk about it again for shame?

Having one of those right now.

Overheard

Head of Company: I don't know sir, maybe it's the thick air here in North Carolina, or maybe it's magic...

Foreign voice emanating from speakerphone (emphatically): It's not magic...


And American humor divebombs into the Atlantic Ocean....

Listen- Hear it? Nothing.

I'm tired this morning. I got plenty of sleep, this with the intention of getting up and to work earlier because I am going out of town (again!) today. I did get up earlier, but not quite early enough and because we don't paid for clocking in 15 minutes before our start time (it either must be earlier or later) and since I didn't make it out of the house to get to work by 7:30, I showed up at 8 and ate breakfast at home, an unusual occurrence as of late. 8 AM is earlier than I have been getting here, so mission accomplished- kinda- and now if I can only do the twenty million errands I need to do in 30 minutes, I can leave at 5. Do I see that happening? Only if my WonderWoman skills kick in in the next few hours. Here's hoping.

It's nice here in the mornings. Quieter, at least in the cube area. The door to the lab is behind my cube, so I am accustomed to a constant in/out squeak, plus the knowledge that everyone looks to see what I'm up to. Must Look Busy. Also, the supervisor over my supervisor sits in an office across from me, and it is too early for him to be yelling in the phone yet, on speakerphone, with the door open. He actually doesn't yell so much as just talks loud in combination with a brusque manner of speaking, but that rationale doesn't matter so much when you're trying to THINK. So, I'm forming a habit of coming in and breathing for a minute, gauging the day, drinking my coffee, before the hustle and bustle picks up, and that gives everyone in the lab time to do their mobile phase prep craziness before I go in there and try to get some work done.

I was just informed though, that there are things waiting for me- fun things, like big napkins we use as much as air and 10 ml syringes everyone is freaking out about, so I am off with my handy boxcutter.

Later gator.

Fog inside the Glass

When Autumn comes, it doesn't ask

It just walks in where it left you last

You never know when it starts

Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart

"Something's Missing" John Mayer

There’s a chill when I leave for work in the morning. Today I stepped on brown leaves as I walked to my car for lunch. Once again, football is the white noise to my Sunday afternoon naps. I feel as though this year, even more so that others, autumn has stolen in and taken the place of summer, swiftly, almost imperceptibly, so that in the end, we begin wearing sweaters and planning for holidays without even realizing that summer has left. Perhaps this year it is all the more strange because I did not herald the end of summer by returning to school. This brief blending in of seasons is usually masked by first exams and multiple checks of the school calendar to verify the dates for fall break. Instead this year, it has melted away, leaving a longing for more evenings in a warm blanket of summer air, soaking in the last moments of twilight after dinner. Soon, sexy summer feelings will be replaced by the cozy hug of autumn and everything will feel different. I love coming through the door during the cooler months to the smell of home and food, and then the twinkle that covers the world as December creeps nearer. This September I am caught up in reminiscing of last year at this time. To me, this year has slipped away and memories are close, but covered in the haze of time, so smells and sensations remain, but any awkwardness or pain has begun to dissolve away. Perhaps that is one of the best flaws of human nature- the inability to capture every memory in perfect clarity. That haze is the healer that allows a renewal as each season changes.