A Blustery Day...

"Don't ask what the world needs.

Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.

Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Howard Thurman

Semantic Geometry

We speak a sort of semantic geometry in which the shortest distance between any two points is a fullish circle. Franny and Zooey, J.D. Salinger

There's a girl I know. She's amazing and talented and maybe the most sympathetic person I have ever met. The first time I met her she had to undergo the cursory high school ridicule, because we were all jealous and afraid our boyfriends would like her more than us. The frustrating part was that it was understandable. She was sweet and innocent and not sarcastic in the least (Over the years she has honed her sarcasm skills- a fact I take most of the credit for). She was the friend you would always want to have, the kind you desperately wished for when you felt deserted at 13 (in the heartbreaking world of the preteen). It was almost like our lives aligned for that bit in time, for those four years. Preacher's daughters, we both could commiserate on things other kids didn't understand. She moved to our little town on her birthday, the summer before ninth grade. Pretty quickly she melded into our group and we all changed together. By senior year, there was still the group but it was shaped differently and we two plus three other girls spent that year doing everything but schoolwork. We all went separate ways, but managed to keep mostly in touch (with a few gaps). We are all in different places now, but Dawn and I have been blessed somehow and are now closer, distance-wise, than we have been in four years.

It's fantastic to make new friends and learn new people but one of the comforts of my life is having someone who knows all my stories and understands me, no explanations required, no blubbering needed about how I'm Crazy And I Know It, But Just Listen...- She gets all that. I only have to blubber if it makes me feel better about the awfully stupid thing I just let happen.

On top of doing all these things I knew she would and slowly making her dreams come true (whether she believes or not) she is also raising two beautiful boys that I adore almost as much as I adore her. Almost! There are days when her selflessness baffles me, and in that same moment where motherhood seems like some kind of masochistic torture we inflict upon ourselves, I want that kind of love in my life.

But for now, I reside in a self-world where I, for the most part, set the who-what-when-and-wheres. Unfortunately, sometimes I get caught up in living day-to-day and don't follow through on the good friend thoughts that bounce through my mind. My bestest friend has been totally laying herself down for her family for weeks now, while they're sick and she's tired and noone is sleeping. The loves in my life now are my extended family, the ones that aren't related to me by blood, but are the ones I chose, or rather, the ones God chose for me. Because of that HUGE blessing, I have one more strong woman to look up to.

So for all these things and more- Late night book editing sessions, little boy kisses and sandbox hands, coffee, chocolate, Friends and Gilmore Girls and SATC, book quotes, procastinating emails and college applications, fellowships and curfews, that time with the singing and the hairbrushes and LFO, tobaggans and dreams, randomness, shared boys (not the little ones), crying, venting, coffee, hats, setting new trends, that one time where we reunited in a Subway, deep questions, car karaoke, scary kid stories, coffee, walks, presenting a solid front against all the stupid things boys do, hopes and fears and all those other crazy things that happen in between- Thank you. And I've thought of you even though you haven't heard from me. I promise.

To Dawn- for understanding my semantic geometry. One day, we'll get our magic beans.